Sober Days, Restful Nights

I always sleep well; when I abstain I sleep even better.  I signed up for Belle of Tired of Thinking About Drinking's 100 Day Booze Free Challenge.  Even though I hardly drink, I am again committing to Belle because I feel the beast slowly creeping back into my life.

The way I eye a wine bottle, the excitement I feel at going to a bar that serves Draft Beer, the brain is slowly going back to the 'stinkin' 'thinkin'...

I know, I know ... I should know better.  But in sticking with my new mode of living which is to accept myself and not self-bash, I am moving forward on this issue with hope and a little more experience and hopefully, wisdom.

I have learned many drinking lessons.  I keep learning the same lessons over and over.  I have not crashed.  I have not hit rock bottom.  Actually, I have been successfully moderating but, even this is not good enough.

It's not good enough because it blocks the authentic me.  Even while successfully moderating, I was still somewhat of a slave to it's pull.  The decision to drink was still on the table, still at the forefront of my mind.

I can happily claim to have drank a maximum of ten drinks in the past three months.  That in itself should be an indication that abstinence is doable.  

Here we go!

Romantic Weekend Booked

Hey all, or Hey me!! I have tentatively booked a room in downtown Toronto on my hubby's birthday weekend to enjoy a romantic weekend together.  So I can check that off my list.

I've been very good with my flossing and my exercise so I am proud.

Sure Glad I Kept This Blog Going ...

Back on the wagon again after toying with moderation.  It worked well at first.

I barely drank and was so proud of the fact that everyone around me was sipping wine and I was not.  I had convinced myself that draft beer would be the exception to the abstinence rule and for a time, it was.

Nothing dramatic happened but, because, I kept my finger on the pulse of my sobriety, I noticed I was reaching for booze a little more often that I had hoped.  Eventually and inevitably I found myself stringing a few days of alcohol consumption together.  I think I drank a little each day for four days in a row.

Yikes!!  I knew that this was the beginning of the end.  On Friday I decided that I had to hop back on the abstinence train.  It was a no-brainer.

I spent the weekend sober and happy and have no regrets about my testing of the waters of my sobriety.  I am in a much better place now than I ever was.  I don't hate myself when I drink.  I am very aware of the consequences of someone with my 'addictive tendencies' to allow myself full freedom to do as I please.

This blog might end up being a lifetime accountability tool.  I refuse to feel bad when I stray from the logic of abstinence.  It's my bumpy journey and I am not harming anyone.

Abstinent again and my short term goal is to be 100 days sober (give or take a day) on my 60th birthday.

Namaste!