Thursday, 7 July 2016

Sober Days, Restful Nights

I always sleep well; when I abstain I sleep even better.  I signed up for Belle of Tired of Thinking About Drinking's 100 Day Booze Free Challenge.  Even though I hardly drink, I am again committing to Belle because I feel the beast slowly creeping back into my life.

The way I eye a wine bottle, the excitement I feel at going to a bar that serves Draft Beer, the brain is slowly going back to the 'stinkin' 'thinkin'...

I know, I know ... I should know better.  But in sticking with my new mode of living which is to accept myself and not self-bash, I am moving forward on this issue with hope and a little more experience and hopefully, wisdom.

I have learned many drinking lessons.  I keep learning the same lessons over and over.  I have not crashed.  I have not hit rock bottom.  Actually, I have been successfully moderating but, even this is not good enough.

It's not good enough because it blocks the authentic me.  Even while successfully moderating, I was still somewhat of a slave to it's pull.  The decision to drink was still on the table, still at the forefront of my mind.

I can happily claim to have drank a maximum of ten drinks in the past three months.  That in itself should be an indication that abstinence is doable.  

Here we go!

Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Romantic Weekend Booked

Hey all, or Hey me!! I have tentatively booked a room in downtown Toronto on my hubby's birthday weekend to enjoy a romantic weekend together.  So I can check that off my list.

I've been very good with my flossing and my exercise so I am proud.

Monday, 4 July 2016

Sure Glad I Kept This Blog Going ...

Back on the wagon again after toying with moderation.  It worked well at first.

I barely drank and was so proud of the fact that everyone around me was sipping wine and I was not.  I had convinced myself that draft beer would be the exception to the abstinence rule and for a time, it was.

Nothing dramatic happened but, because, I kept my finger on the pulse of my sobriety, I noticed I was reaching for booze a little more often that I had hoped.  Eventually and inevitably I found myself stringing a few days of alcohol consumption together.  I think I drank a little each day for four days in a row.

Yikes!!  I knew that this was the beginning of the end.  On Friday I decided that I had to hop back on the abstinence train.  It was a no-brainer.

I spent the weekend sober and happy and have no regrets about my testing of the waters of my sobriety.  I am in a much better place now than I ever was.  I don't hate myself when I drink.  I am very aware of the consequences of someone with my 'addictive tendencies' to allow myself full freedom to do as I please.

This blog might end up being a lifetime accountability tool.  I refuse to feel bad when I stray from the logic of abstinence.  It's my bumpy journey and I am not harming anyone.

Abstinent again and my short term goal is to be 100 days sober (give or take a day) on my 60th birthday.