Saturday, 12 November 2016

Hand on the Bottle...


Hi Everyone, 

I'm starting day 12 and have had the usual temptations, triggers and second guesses.  I am still not drinking.  But I could be.  Even last night I reached (literally had my hand on the ice cold bottle) of white wine in the fridge and said to hubby "Wanna glass of wine?"  He said "No, I really overdid it on Wednesday (he did) so I feel like my body needs a break.  I let go and drank water.  But that is how f&*ked up my head is.  My mind has told me "only drink when no one is around" and "only in restaurants" and when planning a vacation in Cuba after Christmas "only for the week on vacation ... no photos allowed".  So my chances for success are next to nil.  Someone reading this would and should jump in and say "what tools do you have to combat this monkey mind of yours?"

The only tool I have is experience and I have a wealth of it.  I have started a run of sobriety many times and they always end by small exceptions that lead to daily or almost daily drinking or getting drunk.  I inevitably regret that first drink.  Wearing a charm on my brand new Pandora charm bracelet the kids got me for my birthday that is representative of the reasons I want to stay sober is a great idea I just thought of... see writing things down does help.  

My last two years have brought me so many positive changes and I credit many of them to two things: drinking minimally and finally getting a morning routine to stick.  

Today I am meeting some kids and grandkids at the local Santa Claus Parade and we have a lovely sunny day for it.  Temperature is at the freezing mark but dressing warm will take care of that issue.

After that I will put my flower beds to bed for the winter.  Tonight it's Chinese Food (green tea) with my favourite people.

Going on Pandora's website....

1 comment:

  1. I'm thinking of you and hope things are going well. I relate to your struggles.

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