Choose Joy!

Our lives are made up of our many stories all intertwined, twisted and frayed.  Some are clean; some soiled.  Some are sweet and some are bitter.  Rather than letting all the frayed ends of the tales that define us lay splayed and splintered, let's try to carefully weave these stories into one solid, braided rope of hope and strength.

We can pick up the tattered pieces of our neglected, abused, tormented selves and meld them together with the joyful experiences, peaceful moments and warm memories to create a solid, rough hewn rope of hope and promise for tomorrow's successes.

We cannot deny our past sadness and despair but we can embrace it as part of the fabric of our being and knowingly move forward continuing to weave a solid, secure life for ourselves composed of forgiveness and compassion for ourselves and those who have hurt us.

One day as we look back upon this journey called life, it would be heartwarming and gratifying to see a life well lived despite the harshness that defined some days.

We owe it to ourselves to carry on striving to remain in the present moment and to allow the grief of our past mistakes and struggles to gently move through us without definition or analysis.  They just are.

Let's not concentrate too much on what the future holds.  Each decision we make in the moment defines our future happiness so choose joy and acceptance of what is.

Let's make beautiful memories not based on what happens but on our reaction to what happens.

Let's choose joy.

 

Hey Sober Penpal

I attempted to reply to my sober penpal and my hotmail wouldn't work so I'll post my reply here:

I set my sober counter on my phone which is always fun.  I think the commitment to Belle really helps.  I think by donating $10 every ten days sober I may start enjoying the feeling of being generous to a good cause and do it for the team. I sure as hell can't seem to do it for myself.  

Chris (you know who you are) you and I are either drinking or sober and not usually at the same time.  For once, let's stick together on this.  I am trailing by over 20 days behind you... don't let me catch up!!

I feel positive because it is just doing nothing for me at this time.

Deb xo

Instead of Rewards ...

I've decided to donate ten dollars every ten days of sobriety to Belle's efforts on Tired of Thinking About Drinking.  This is the opposite of what I usually do which is reward myself for staying abstinent.

Maybe I am just not putting enough importance on myself and undeserving of rewards.  I am the Queen of Self-Sabotage.

As usual I am drinking very occasionally and hardly anything ... just enough to nullify any pride or satisfaction I would get from total sobriety.

One's mind does play tricks on one.

Mine is constantly attempting to ensure failure in all my goals.

I have so much on my plate right now.  I won't go into it but I feel like yelling "Stop the world; I want to get off."

A few days in and feeling cautiously hopeful.

Longest Freshwater Beach in the World

Hubby and I are in the midst of a well deserved ten day vacation and it's been lovely.  We went to Gananoque and took the boat tour of the 1000 Islands to Boldt Castle and loved it.  We then took our time and drove up north to the shores of Georgian Bay to a pretty amazing town called Wasaga Beach.  Georgian Bay has the longest fresh water beach in all the world.. and it's sandy and clean.  We are staying right on the beachfront strip and have been enjoying the pool, the very shallow water of Wasaga Beach, the food and the sunsets.  I have been a good sober girl.

I've treated myself to beachwear and delicious food.  We are really enjoying ourselves and,with my sister  staying with my Mom who lives with me, we have no cares in the world.

We both have been working so hard lately with the family business and my Mom's broken hip recovery at home.  Relaxation has been so wonderful.

Just checking in from the motel bed ...