Wednesday, 28 September 2016

Instead of Rewards ...

I've decided to donate ten dollars every ten days of sobriety to Belle's efforts on Tired of Thinking About Drinking.  This is the opposite of what I usually do which is reward myself for staying abstinent.

Maybe I am just not putting enough importance on myself and undeserving of rewards.  I am the Queen of Self-Sabotage.

As usual I am drinking very occasionally and hardly anything ... just enough to nullify any pride or satisfaction I would get from total sobriety.

One's mind does play tricks on one.

Mine is constantly attempting to ensure failure in all my goals.

I have so much on my plate right now.  I won't go into it but I feel like yelling "Stop the world; I want to get off."

A few days in and feeling cautiously hopeful.

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