Friday 24 April 2015

Treasured Solitude

I got so much accomplished yesterday with the aid of LOUD music.  For a change I had a few hours alone and immediately upon realizing the house was empty blasted the music and scrubbed two bathrooms, danced around the living room and had a lot of fun at the same time.

When I was living in Quebec I was lonely for my family and for the English world.  I had a lot of time alone during the day but this was not the cause of my loneliness.  It was more of a low grade emptiness I felt in the evenings when it was just hubby and I; him watching TV and me wandering around our small cottage trying to avoid the sounds of his shows.

Time spent alone during the day has always held great potential for me.  I crave time alone and currently it is in short supply.  We have my son, his wife and their delightful son living with us and our company has moved it's office to our basement so the house is a happening place most of the time.

Yesterday was a rare treasure, indeed.  I did my housework with music blaring and windows flung open.  I danced in my living room, took a long bath and was in the moment each moment of my solo time.  I hope I get another opportunity for solitude soon.

Thursday 23 April 2015

Anyone up for Thirty Days A/F

Hello there cyber world.  I have been out of the circle for a while.  I took a break from sobriety and it's all good.  I am now embarking on a 30 day period of abstinence to reprogram myself.  I've been on vacation in Clearwater Beach, Florida for the past few weeks and ate a lot of greasy food, drank a few beers and had a margerita or two.  I am ready to attack the beast again.

While in Florida I found a plaque and put it up near my wine glass cupboard.  It says "Quitting Drinking is Easy; I've Done it 1000 Times".  I figure if I keep taking long breaks, eventually they may begin to run into each other.

I cannot take my wishy washy behaviour to heart.  It's who I am and how I roll.  I am sporadic with housework, eating habits, exercising, self-care, office work and every other facet of my life.  Why would I be able to achieve perfect discipline in abstinence?  If I spend my life self-attacking I will get no where.

But, I made a doctor's appointment to get my blood pressure checked exactly one month from today and I know if I commit to moving, eating well, meditating and abstaining the chances are pretty good I can keep the blood pressure pills at bay for a while longer.  I am on the border.

I hope to post daily for the next 30 days to keep myself on track.

I've been reading a lot about resting in the present moment and have found a simple book called the Four Agreements that resonates with me.  It's about living a life based on self-love, forgiveness, communication and acceptance.  I hope I am on the right track.

I have a few items to tick off my To Do list and will get started now.

Who's in?