I've been noticing that I am desperately in need of some womanly maintenance. My eyebrows have joined together in holy hairiness. My chin is full of blackheads, dry, peeling skin and pubic-like hair. My upper lip is resembling a teenage boys. My teeth are neglected and in need of a cleaning. I am in dire need of a hair cut and have gained; not lost, a few pounds since I've given up the sauce. My finger and toe nails are a sight to behold.
May was to be my no sugar month and I feel good about this (although if it heightens my alcohol cravings, I will indulge in the sugar). I should really book some vanity time at the local salons as well. My self-confidence could really use the boost and, despite the fact that we are tight financially.
Being sober has really heightened the fact that I am fighting some pretty serious self-loathing. My procrastination, lack of motivation, underachievement of goals, lack of personal and health care all point to the fact that I need to rally myself and find ways to nurture my own well being and satisfaction.
The problem with taking care of personal responsibilities and oneself is that it is NOT a one time thing. It's ongoing and should carry on indefinitely. This is a huge undertaking. I feel overwhelmed by my chipped toenail polish let alone my whole self falling apart. I am already responsible for putting meals on the table for Mom and hubby and myself, keeping up with Mom's many appointments for her ears, eyes, insomnia, physiotherapy, piano lessons, foot care, hair and doctor's appointments along with picking up and dispensing her daily meds.
I sometimes feel like just running away. A better idea might be to take all the items of necessity and of vanity, lump them together, make a weekly plan and stick to it. Being a scattered person, this is almost an insurmountable task.
Putting one foot in front of the other is the only way to move forward, upward and out of this funk.
I will start making phone calls. Now, where do I start??