Morning Meditation Works

So much going on and I am so busy.  I have not had a drink since that reset a few posts ago.  So far no urge but we all know that means nothing.

I won't go into detail about all the drama I am allowing into my life but I will say that I am practicing not taking anything to heart and just rolling along in the present and being there for everyone when I can.  When I can't I try to say no with confidence and absurdness.

We have family issues, money issues and exhaustion issues to deal with and the old me would be pouring glass after glass of red ethanol down my throat to cope.  Let's hope the future me doesn't ever go there again.  Hope but not fear.

My morning meditations which are now in their sixth month have opened up a whole new world of acceptance and gratitude.  For those of you who can't get their mind to stop reeling long enough to meditate, rest assured that it is the sitting and not the quality of meditation that has made the difference.  My meditations, themselves, are a shadow of what they could be.  My mind wanders, my attention wavers and I am all over the place but it still works.  It's the taking the time to sit quietly that allows me to regroup and remind myself of the silliness of regret and fear (past and future).

Spring is here and nature is lush with the rain we've had.  What a joy it is to walk to the river or just to sit on the verandah and watch the sun ease it's way out of view leaving it's pink and violet wisps to gradually fade to darkness.

My 85 yo mother has been with me for three weeks and tomorrow I am driving her home to Toronto.  She has not been a problem despite her addiction to beer.  She has resigned herself to just having three or so each evening and sits quietly reading as our crazy household whirls about her.  Still, the end of the visit will allow me one less person to take care of, monitor meds and to force feed as she is 'off' food.

So, just checking in as you can see by the rambling.  I am not on any other sober websites lately (Sorry Ginger and Paulie) but do appreciate all they give.  Time constraints are keeping me too busy to participate in much except office and family.

Have a groovy day.