Friday, 12 June 2015

Sober Fragility

Ahhhh !! Resisted huge temptation last night.  It was the last day of my Mom's visit.  I am driving her home to Toronto today.  We decided to bring her out to A&W for dinner as she has been eating like a bird, enjoys their burgers and it was not expensive.  We then took her to the War Museum as she has been asking to be brought there for ages.  After that hubby suggested a farewell drink on a patio.  My alkie brain kicked in.

I debated in the car driving over.  Club soda and lemon?  As we sat down hubby suggested we share a pitcher of beer.  He is not aware that I am abstaining or at least is not taking me serious (as most of you aren't).  I was actually considering it thinking that it was just the once and I would get right back on track (ya right!!).  I then spotted the Becks Non-Alcohol Beer on the menu.  Phew!! I could look like I was drinking booze, feel like I am drinking booze and still stay abstinent.  So I ordered it.

But, just like that I was almost willing to break my sobriety streak.  That is scary as I know with a clear mind this morning that I would, not only, regret it but have one tonight in Toronto, another with dinner tomorrow night and away we go.

I am not saying that I will abstain forever but for now, I need to continue this streak for my peace of mind.

Fragile is the way I would describe my sobriety.  Very fragile.


  1. Whew! Dodged a bullet. Good on you my friend. Hang in there, one day at a time. Ging

  2. Sobriety is always fragile, just like a priceless vase or work of art. The thing that changes is our level of stress over that fragility. When you first bring that vase into the house, you're constantly going to be watching for people moving too close to it, swooping in, and guiding the offending arm flapper to a safer distance. But after a while, somehow you chill out about it and you're less aware of it. It's still very fragile, but over time, you've managed to locate it in a place where no one should get to it, and even if they do, you're sure it will not land on anything hard and break. Same with your sobriety. At first, it feels like it's in the middle of the room, vulnerable and easily shattered, but over time, you manage to adjust and it's just another fact. You don't drink. No biggie.