I have so many plans, so many ideas and so many goals. I can't seem to follow through on any of them. I live a good, reasonably healthy life and many would say I do get a lot done. But alas, my short and long term bucket list never seems to have check marks beside the items listed.
I do manage one darn thing daily: my meditations. I religiously head over to my neighbor's house across the street every morning at 6:00 a.m. to complete this wonderful habit. Without fail (unless I am away) I manage to complete this practice. But that's where it ends. I have a lake house to rent and hopefully to sell, an office to run, a house to maintain, grandchildren to spend time with, exercise to complete, passions to explore and numerous other dreams, hopes and plans. I am so scattered when it comes to following through on the baby steps I set out for myself in these areas. The lake house remains empty and unsold, the house is messy, the exercise is sporadic, the grandchildren are not seen as much as I would like and the office always has unfinished work.
My starts and stops with drinking must be tied into this scattered cycle I've
I've made so many lists ... good lists ... that I seem to ignore. What is it inside me that works so vigorously to sabotage any small successes I might have? Deep in my psyche there must be a profound self-loathing that manifests itself in my rootless, meandering, scattered day to day life.
What can I do to change this?