Had a bit of a slide down Booze Alley in the past few days. You know how it starts ...
After a few days I've already come to my senses and hopped back on the wagon. I won't promise it will be for a lifetime but I do promise it will be part of a 100 day countdown starting at 100 and working it's way down to zero. I've chosen this angle just to switch things up and to freshen up the drudgery of yet, another, kick at the can.
Today is day 99 as I did not partake last night (within a very challenging situation where everyone at the cottage I was at was extolling the virtues of this
On June 14th, day 0 I will receive a letter I've written to myself via a great website: futureme.org that allows for this type of thing. This letter will remind me of how I feel now, immediately following breaking my latest commitment to abstinence.
It's not that I am a wrecking ball to others when I start up with the booze; it's that I am a wrecking ball to my sleep quality, obsessive mind, self-confidence, general over-all health and serenity.
I only careened off my intended path for a few days but my mind instantly became altered after the first sip. My first thought was to create NEW rules about drinking: "I will only drink when ...." Then I became obsessively aware of how much we had in the house, which restaurants we would go to, when the next opportunity would present itself. I also, simultaneously, began breaking any and all rules I set out for myself. Sound familiar?
So, if you are here for the perfect abstainer to enlighten you with her wisdom, you've come to the wrong place. If you are here to take comfort and learn from a fellow life traveller's ups and downs then stick around.
Maybe one day we can become wise together and become the Gurus of sobriety.
But until then ... sigh ....