Monday, 21 September 2015

Finally Able to Log On

I have had trouble logging on lately as my password wasn't working.  Today I finally sorted it out.  I would be 26 days sober today if it weren't for the weekend.  I made the (un)conscious decision to have a glass or two on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  Friday was me caving in after a week of my daughter staying with me with her newborn and 14 month old sick babies.  My house was a disaster and my DIL showed up with a bottle of red which I shared with her.  Saturday was a 'what the hell' day as I was in Toronto picking up my 85 year old alcoholic mother to bring her home to live with me and hubby.  Part of me felt like I blew it the night before and I needed to cut loose before my life became stilted and stifled with my role as the caregiver, liquor control board with Mom.  Sunday was finishing what was in the house with full knowledge that Monday was the beginning of another go at it.  So, in total about six glasses of red wine were drank over the course of three days.  I am fine with that since I let it happen.  It was a choice.

Sober again today and on red alert with Mom who will try every trick in the book to get her fill of beer.

Believe it or not, I still feel good about my 26 days and am still counting unless I screw up again today which is virtually impossible.  I put my sobriety counter back to 0 but in my heart I am proud of the last month.

If I can do this sobriety thing 99% of the time then it's a good thing.  If I can do it 100% of the time, then it's a GREAT thing.  So far, I am good. Greatness beckons me.

Presence has been my go to state lately and I revel in it.  Breathing deeply and honouring where I am here and now has helped me avoid many pitfalls of emotion, comments, actions and drinking for the most part.

Today is a wonderful day.  Mom is still in bed and I am catching up on my filing.

Have a good one.


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