Presence VS Goals

 I am reading a lot about resting in the present moment and letting all seeking thoughts come and go without doing anything about them.  According to these teachings, when seeking thoughts arise, action is not to be taken but, in addition, one is not to judge or react in any way to these thoughts.  

One is to learn to watch our thoughts, seeking and otherwise, from the seat of our soul, our authentic selves.  We learn this only one way and that is by doing nothing. 

By doing nothing I mean just that; resting in the present moment and allowing what is to just ‘be’.  I love this idea and practice this bit of nothingness  as often as I remember to.  But therein lies the problem.  How can I reach any goals if I don’t act on those whispered messages from my brain?  What do I do?  Must I give up my goals in order to gain happiness?  Must I stop trying to improve myself, get healthier and increase my self-discipline?  I know there’s an answer to this question out there but I haven’t found it yet.  I am going to explore it here typing as I’m thinking.

Currently, when those seeking thoughts arise I pay attention to them.  I am always affected by them and spend hours discussing them in my head.  For example when (not if)  I get a random thought that I really should get rid of the ten pounds I put on over Christmas, I always  sit up and take notice.  I start by damning myself for putting them on in the first place.  After I’ve put myself in my place, I begin to plan on how I will tackle this problem.   I might even write a list of exercise and diet rules I plan on following.  I go all out.  But the one thing I never do is take the weight off.  I do not follow through in any of my plans. 

The same goes for my desire to improve in my housework, office work, personal hygiene and any other tasks that point to my perceived shortcomings. 

I am experiencing a small amount of success lately in that I have not had a drink in eighteen days.  I have also kept my promise this month to join my friend every morning for an hour of meditation and mindful readings.  I give full credit to my meditation success to my fear of letting my meditation partner down.  I am not sure whether my abstinence is a result of me being more present or the fact that I’ve reached my wall with booze.

But upon further reading the point is made that with the act of resting in presence, consciousness and awareness, one naturally begins to do what is good for oneself.  I am pleased with myself for my 30+ days of consistent meditation and my 22 days of abstinence.  I hope that by allowing myself to go slow and to improve at my own pace the rest will follow.