Monday 8 September 2014

Remembering Why I Quit..

Every once in a while I have to remember the negatives of drinking in my own personal life.  I was not a down and out drunk; just a daily drinker who got out of hand once a month or so.  But since I've stopped drinking I've noticed some reversals in the horrible side effects of the daily intake of alcohol.
I tend to forget these life improvements; therefore fall into the 'it wasn't so bad' mode.

I am falling down that rabbit hole lately and even had a swig of my husband's beer on Saturday night. We were just finished with the funny business, I was naked and very thirsty and it was on the dresser. We had company so I couldn't go out of the room without throwing some clothes on... so I took a swig.  As I did, I joked to my husband ".. and it all started again with a swig of beer..." But the words rang true.

So here is the:

Before and After Version of Drinking Verses Not Drinking at 137 Days Sober

Before: Daily heart palpitations
After: No heart palpitations ... EVER !!

Before: High blood pressure and being followed by a doctor
After: Lowered blood pressure to the point of (so far) avoiding medication

Before: Waking up at 3:00 a.m. many nights filled with remorse, regret and feeling ill
After: Sleeping soundly every night

Before: Waking in the mornings feeling groggy, dehydrated and head-achy
After: Waking up feeling clear-headed, thirsty for coffee and alive

Before: Always fighting a middle age paunch
After: Eating whatever I want and staying slim and toned

Before: Often forgetting whole conversations and promises I've made
After: Still a bit forgetful but not in the same way; keeping my promises to the best of my ability

Before: Getting drunk to the point of throwing up and pissing myself about once a year for the past five years
After: Obviously not doing that shit

Before: Feeling like a loser and not accomplishing or following through on anything of importance
After: Still struggling with my self image but meeting small goals on a weekly basis.

Before: Always thinking about drinking
After: Still thinking about what I need to do to better myself but not enough about (not) drinking which I find dangerous.

There is still a lot I want to change about myself but I really am trying hard to be realistic and to maybe just accept myself for who I am: a pre-menopausal, procrastinating, indecisive, wishy washy, loving, placid, funny, warm woman with a whole lot of goals and too little passion to follow through on most of them.  And that's a subject for another post.


  1. I could have written the before and after portion. It was spot on for me too.

  2. Sounds like the pros outweigh the cons.
    Accepting yourself as you are is very freeing. You sound great!