Monday 29 September 2014

Sober October!

It seems that I am challenged on every front when I go for sobriety.  I haven't found it since my relapse a few weeks ago except for a few days here and there.  Hubby is thrilled to bits I'm joining him for a drink.  Our friends were so relieved to have me accept a beer on Friday night (they had nothing else to offer), my social life has become much more 'fun' in the past weeks as I now am one of the gang rather than the boring, social outcast the drinkers perceive me to be.

But I still want out.  Even two glasses of wine gives me heart palpitations, dehydration, lethargy and, often, that 3:00 a.m. wake-up call.  I am also obsessing over it again whereas I had fallen into a pattern where other areas of life were being explored.  Now I'm back to Should I?, Shouldn't I? How much? How often?

I am from that generation where, for many women, the importance of pleasing others far outweighs that of pleasing oneself.

I thought hubby was on board after our long talk back in March.  He seemed to get it.  He doesn't.

I will start small by abstaining for the month of October (including today my friends) and not say anything to anyone about it.  I don't get support; I get dismay so it'll be our little secret.  Hubby and I have been eating a lot in restaurants lately and I've been having a draft at our local pub.  It's my achilles tendon these days so I'll try to avoid going there at night and stick to enjoying their lovely breakfast options.  Wine, which was my poison of choice, is not calling me although this weekend, since I was drinking anyway, I had one with my meal both Saturday and Sunday.  Sounds innocent but to those reading this blog, it's the beginning of the end; we all know that.

I hope I can do this with your support and not that of my 'real' family and friends.

I wish I was addicted to heroin.  At least I would get support and not scorn.

Day 1


  1. Please know you have our support. I follow your blog and wish you well! You can do it!

  2. I feel your pain. I would love to do sober October with you as I have been struggling again too. Please keep writing even if you decide to drink. The whole point of this is to garner support and a community because we all really do want to remain sober...we need the support of each other no matter what stage we happen to be to you!

    1. Deb I don't have a blog yet but I'm considering it! If you would like a wannabesober penpal my email is below. I'm reading a powerful book called Why You Drink and How to Stop..(Veronica Valli) I think it would resonate with you too! We are gonna do Sober stay strong girlfriend! Pam

  3. Thanks for your continued support; both of you. Nowine, what is the name of your blog or the link to it? I believe you have one, don't you? I thought we discussed it... losing my memory on top of everything else. I just want my life to be clear headed and happy.

  4. Your blog was one of the first I stumbled on in the early days of sobriety and it resonated because you write so well and you were also a few months ahead of me. You did it then and of course you will do it again. Keep re-reading your old blogs they sure have helped me stay sober. Much love Joey xx

  5. Much appreciated Joey. I can write but I have trouble staying sober. ODAT!!

  6. Have been following your blog since beg of sept. Got worried as time passed w no entries. That a not-easypath should be made more difficult by ppl who are not 'comfortable' w your not drinking....really calls into question their issues, doesnt it? I,m surprised to hear of adults who dont treat others like've made a, i know from what i've read, have the guts and will to stick with it. I'm sure you can. I hope you do.

  7. Sorry about the typos. First time i figured out how i could enter a 'comment' and then, it wouldn,t take some of my edits.

  8. So glad you posted! Thinking about you as always. Sherry

  9. You need to read Jason Vale again Granny - no one puts alcohol squarely in its place quite like JV! �� the great thing about racking up so many days last time is that you know it is possible to do it again, hard sometimes but definitely achievable.
    Stuff what everyone else thinks - what you think is what counts.
    Good luck with Ocsober Granny - I am cheering for you!
    Kirst xx