Day 60 - I Couldn't Have Done it Without You!

I can't believe I made it!! Day 60!! That's double any previous abstinence periods.

I am sitting in a trailer that's only one level up from a tent trailer (we sleep under canvas but the centre of the trailer is solid), we are mired in knee deep mud because the universe decided that the year Debbie builds her dream home will be the year of the torrential rains, and my husband and I are literally on top of each other most of the time.  We have a new neighbor on our new street that is an alcoholic and makes his own wine and beer.  He delights in bringing his hooch over every day at 4:00 pm to share with us and does not let up when I repeatedly explain that I don't drink.

Hubby always has wine and beer sitting on the trailer shelf which can be very tempting or annoying depending on my mood.

We've just started going to the lake house on the weekends (yes, I appreciate how lucky I am) where the booze is always flowing and the friends drop in unannounced.

So, against all odds, I've managed sobriety.  It's not because I'm a hero.  It's not because I hit rock bottom.  It's because in my little world, the time had come.  It was relatively easy  because I was truly ready to turn the page and begin the next phase of my life.  It was a quiet knowing that sober was the only direction worth travelling; that another cycle could not begin.  In other words, I was ready.

I don't know much about addiction but I do know that when the addicted is attempting to give up his drug of choice, he (or she) must be solidly sure of his desire to stop using in order for there to be a hope in hell of success.

In previous attempts, I believed that abstinence was synonymous with deprivation.  I thought about what I was missing... ALOT.  This time my mindset tended to lean towards gratitude and the gains that being fully present offered.  I've carried this mindset with me throughout the past two months and I've been sober, happy and a lot more confident.

What's really helped are the people who've read and commented on my blog, my supportive friends at mywayout.org, the Bubble Hour podcasts, my 100 day A/F commitment to Bella's community and reading other sober blogs.  A community of support is mandatory for success in my opinion.

I've reached a small milestone and hope to reach many more.  To all of you reading this, thank you from the bottom of my heart!  The positive energy has been received and I'm sending it right back out to you!

xoxo