Life has been very good for quite a while now and I have no reason to want to escape behind the hue of a glass of red. I used to have all kinds of reasons such as a depressed, suicidal daughter, a failed marriage, no money, etc. Through my good decisions and life's recent blessings I have a great relationship, three mature, reasonably happy kids, five healthy sweet grand kids and live in the dream home we just built.
I believe that, even though I want to stop drinking altogether, I self sabotage by having one or two in the midst of a successful sober stretch just to knock myself down a few pegs when I am serene, content and pleased with myself. This realization just might be the ticket to my freedom from my constant relapsing. Knowing that I am accountable here will sure help as well.
Booze has completely lost it's attraction to me just like my ex-husband and for the same reasons: although they may be suited for someone else, they are not suited for me and they both bring out the worst in me. I am lethargic, non-communicative and full of self-loathing when I spend time with either of them. I broke off a twenty year marriage after five years of knowing it was time. I've had at least five years of knowing booze and I were mismatched. It's time to walk away rather than lingering around in the hopes that things will be different. I think this makes sense. You?
I joined Hello Sunday Morning and am on a three month sober challenge.