Life has been very good for quite a while now and I have no reason to want to escape behind the hue of a glass of red. I used to have all kinds of reasons such as a depressed, suicidal daughter, a failed marriage, no money, etc. Through my good decisions and life's recent blessings I have a great relationship, three mature, reasonably happy kids, five healthy sweet grand kids and live in the dream home we just built.
I believe that, even though I want to stop drinking altogether, I self sabotage by having one or two in the midst of a successful sober stretch just to knock myself down a few pegs when I am serene, content and pleased with myself. This realization just might be the ticket to my freedom from my constant relapsing. Knowing that I am accountable here will sure help as well.
Booze has completely lost it's attraction to me just like my ex-husband and for the same reasons: although they may be suited for someone else, they are not suited for me and they both bring out the worst in me. I am lethargic, non-communicative and full of self-loathing when I spend time with either of them. I broke off a twenty year marriage after five years of knowing it was time. I've had at least five years of knowing booze and I were mismatched. It's time to walk away rather than lingering around in the hopes that things will be different. I think this makes sense. You?
I joined Hello Sunday Morning and am on a three month sober challenge.
Hey Deb!
ReplyDeleteGlad you're here. Gosh, we have so much in common. I really love what you said that booze and ex-husband lost it's attraction to me and they may be suited for someone else. I'm so there. I've been thinking of taking my ex back (yes, I know it's because I'm lonely and exhausted), just like I was thinking of drinking. I have to remember where I've been with both of those....and look the other way.
What's your three month sober challenge? Sounds pretty interesting.... xo
https://www.hellosundaymorning.org/Grannygetssober/goals/98850
ReplyDeleteThat's the link to the Hello Sunday Morning Sobriety Site that has some challenges you can join. I have just started being active there as of yesterday so we can be newbies there together. It would be great to have a partner in crime. xx
This is great and you sound like you are ready! I checked out Hello Sunday Morning as well and thought it was awesome. You will have to deal with your hubby still drinking right? That is the one thing that bothers me a bit...mine drinks every weekend but I have no desire and he knows that...think I just don't want to be around it in my sacred space called home...best of luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks Deb! I'll check it out! How many days are you in today?
ReplyDeleteDrink of wine on Saturday just to screw up a great run so only on day two. :-(
ReplyDeleteDay 2 is a good start!! Remember how good you felt at day 100 and hang on to that..... Go for it!
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