Slowly Things Are Coming Together

It's Day 9; I know I should be on day 999 but here I am exactly where I am meant to be in the story of my life.  I am not tempted to drink alcohol but have to remember to drink WATER.  I am dehydrated lately because I keep forgetting to hydrate myself.

My sugar addiction is in full swing and with my Mom living here, the sweets are everywhere.  I am not gaining weight but not losing it either.  I have a wedding in Mexico (my Son's) in January and would love to feel good in my bathing suit so have to eventually work on those sugar cravings.  I am going pretty easy on myself right now because I am so early in this latest last run of sobriety.  Before this run, I've had many months of abstinence with a hiccup (one or two glasses of wine) every few weeks.  Although this is encouraging, it's not slaying the dragon.  It keeps me in the quicksand.

I have been listening to the Bubble Hour quite a bit especially while I am knitting or jumping on my mini-trampoline.

In general, life has gotten a lot more manageable in the past year of mostly sober time.  I am a better office administrator (coincidentally, the company is doing REALLY well right now).  My house is cleaner and tidier and my personal hygiene has ramped up a notch or two.

My eating habits are slowly improving too although with my 85 year old Mom here, I have to serve meat and more traditional food which I am easing away from in my own personal tastes.  She is really doing well and is not a burden whatsoever as I had feared she would be.

I never realized how lonely my Mom must have been living alone these past thirty five years since the youngest in the family moved out.  She has been a crusty, negative alcoholic for as long as I remember and now that she's here and allowed one beer a day, she is smiling, curling her hair, practicing the piano and walking taller.  She has even laughed a few times.  I am witnessing the rebirth of a woman who was dying of loneliness and it warms my heart.

Yesterday I went for a long walk on the wooded path by the river.  At the end of my walk I stood on the riverbank and was able to lose myself in taking deep breaths from the essence of my being and symbolically sucking all my deep self-loathing up to the surface.  In my out breath I sent long, swooshes of healing love out into the world.  It really felt good.

I am happy to be on this sober journey even with all my pitfalls as it has led me to discover my spiritual side and to other like-minded healing souls like you.

Namaste