Tuesday, 5 April 2016

Recovery is Raw

As I explained in the last post, I was sent into a tailspin this morning because of a decision my sister made that I perceived as selfish and insensitive.  I went through the  mine field of normal family conflict for the first time since I quit drinking 15 days ago.

I acted out of sadness and disappointment.  But I did not drink.

I jumped on my rebounder and listened to 21 Things to Do on a Sober Weekend on my new fav podcast .. but I did not drink.

I had a long bath and cried but I did not drink.

I went out in freezing temperature to walk to the post office and back ... but I did not drink.

I ate a monster cookie, two chocolate Easter eggs and a handful of Sun Chips .. but I did not drink.

My Uncle and his partner dropped in for supper unexpected with a large bottle of my favourite red wine.  I uncorked it and poured a round, served it up and set the table .. but I did not drink.

I spent time actually feeling my emotions (they were in my belly) and sitting with them and sure enough they are passing now.  I know my sister is upset that I am upset with her.  The old drinking, Libra, insecure me would have called her up to apologize for feeling upset and asking for HER forgiveness.  The New Me is going to let it be.  When we do speak I will not hold a grudge.  There are two sides to every story.  My hurt and disappointment is real but I will not be stupid enough to hold on to anger or resentment.

Enough said about that.  I will stop beating a dead horse.  Most importantly, I did not drink.

Thanks for all the helpful comments.

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