Remembering Why I Quit..

Every once in a while I have to remember the negatives of drinking in my own personal life.  I was not a down and out drunk; just a daily drinker who got out of hand once a month or so.  But since I've stopped drinking I've noticed some reversals in the horrible side effects of the daily intake of alcohol.
I tend to forget these life improvements; therefore fall into the 'it wasn't so bad' mode.

I am falling down that rabbit hole lately and even had a swig of my husband's beer on Saturday night. We were just finished with the funny business, I was naked and very thirsty and it was on the dresser. We had company so I couldn't go out of the room without throwing some clothes on... so I took a swig.  As I did, I joked to my husband ".. and it all started again with a swig of beer..." But the words rang true.

So here is the:

Before and After Version of Drinking Verses Not Drinking at 137 Days Sober

Before: Daily heart palpitations
After: No heart palpitations ... EVER !!

Before: High blood pressure and being followed by a doctor
After: Lowered blood pressure to the point of (so far) avoiding medication

Before: Waking up at 3:00 a.m. many nights filled with remorse, regret and feeling ill
After: Sleeping soundly every night

Before: Waking in the mornings feeling groggy, dehydrated and head-achy
After: Waking up feeling clear-headed, thirsty for coffee and alive

Before: Always fighting a middle age paunch
After: Eating whatever I want and staying slim and toned

Before: Often forgetting whole conversations and promises I've made
After: Still a bit forgetful but not in the same way; keeping my promises to the best of my ability

Before: Getting drunk to the point of throwing up and pissing myself about once a year for the past five years
After: Obviously not doing that shit

Before: Feeling like a loser and not accomplishing or following through on anything of importance
After: Still struggling with my self image but meeting small goals on a weekly basis.

Before: Always thinking about drinking
After: Still thinking about what I need to do to better myself but not enough about (not) drinking which I find dangerous.

There is still a lot I want to change about myself but I really am trying hard to be realistic and to maybe just accept myself for who I am: a pre-menopausal, procrastinating, indecisive, wishy washy, loving, placid, funny, warm woman with a whole lot of goals and too little passion to follow through on most of them.  And that's a subject for another post.