I can find serenity. It's up to me completely. How I live my life determines my level of happiness. Happiness is already here and just masked by all the complications I create for myself.
My choices yesterday made me happy. In the morning I went and retrieved my juicer from my Uncle's and made myself a celery apple, ginger, beet juice which my body was starving for. I then put on my new rubber boots that don't hurt my tender feet and went for a walk on a lovely path in the bush a stone's throw away from my trailer. This trail follows the meandering Jock River. I was moved beyond joy to be caught in the middle of hundreds of Canada Geese flying overhead heading south. To my delight, I witnessed them skimming the surface and landing in the water all around me and, then, later taking flight en masse honking like the dickens. This all happened during my hour long hike and played out like the most beautiful dance recital ever choreographed. The path was loaded with purple wildflowers and was a breathtaking site.
I don't think I'm that important in the big scheme of the world but I do feel that the universe is pointing me in the right direction recently. Drinking after four months was good in that I experienced the insomnia, headache and dehydration along with the emotional factors once again. It is a good reminder of everything I have to lose: a clear head, good memory, restful nights, pride, etc.
Today I will choose to do a few things that make me happy. I will get my work done satisfactorily and eat wholesome, healthy food. I will drink lots of water, take some time to walk in the bush again and possibly use the carrots my neighbor gave me from her garden to create another nourishing juice.
I will not poison my body with alcohol.
Choose happiness, Debbie!! It's all up to you.
Of course you are important in the big scheme. We all are. We are all part on one divine connection. Your happiness and contentment makes us all brighter and happier!
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself. You are important!
Anne
I would like to think you're right Anne.. we are all connected. I sure feel connected to you and those of us who visit these sober blogs and help each other out. xoxo
DeleteI am so happy to see you back on the path that makes you happy. I am coming up to a year sober in a few weeks and feeling very strong in my commitment to not drinking again. One of the things that makes me stronger has been my previous relapses. I never regret them because they provide me with that extra resolve I need if ever my mind wanders onto the 'what if?' path. It is first hand experience of the real cost of those few glasses of liquid which, in the great scheme of things, mean nothing - just a bottle if grape juice with added head ache, lol.
ReplyDeleteYou've just added some extra padding to your sober armour Granny - I hope it helps on your quest :-)
All the best,
Kirst
You are so right. I realized lately that I don't really like the taste of wine any way. Tea is so much more delicious. One thing though, I now know how people go from one drink to a year or more of drinking before their next quit. This relapse has escalated into more than one night and if I don't get a real handle on it it could stretch out for months. It seems so much harder after a relapse to get back on track mentally. I got tipsy easier too and felt worse with less booze drank so if I don't stop, I am headed for some very painful mornings. I feel like I am back on track and your response and those of other kindred spirits make all the difference. Thanks.
DeleteHi I relapsed two days ago after 39days sober. Thought I could have just one glass of wine what a joke, one bottle later.The next morning decided no more drinking, am now on day two. It is tough as I am emotionally wrung out after drinking and all I want to do is beat myself up. But if I do that I will just start drinking again.So easy does it, just one day at a time. Your walks in the bush sound lovely - hope your foot improves.
ReplyDeleteI so understand what happened to you and my heart goes out to you. We have to get back on the wagon together and stay strong. I suffered with the 3 a.m. wake up call and that was horrendous. Great for recovery thought. 39 days is nothing to sneeze at. You did it before and you can do it again. United we stand, divided we fall. xox
DeleteSo happy to see your post when I got up this morning. The MWO site is so messed up right now it's almost impossible to post anything there. They will get it squared away but in the mean time your posts are helping with my resolve not to drink! Ging
ReplyDelete