Friday, 24 October 2014

Safety in Numbers

I would like to think I am back in that great head space I enjoyed all through the summer.  I was not drinking and was not missing it. What happened?  A little action as a result of a little craving is what screwed up my momentum.

I can't stress enough the importance of staying close to the sober cyber-world for the longest time. My guess is that I will always have to check in in one way or another as part of my daily routine.  The further I stray from the cocoon of like-minded people, the more likely it is that I will inevitably drink.

Whether it's blogging here, soaking up other recovery blogs, visiting my sober support sites or just reading my plethora of books on the subject, a visit to the sober world is needed on a daily basis in order to keep the drinking world at bay.

It's all around us.  We are surrounded.  It's everywhere.  On TV, our favourite sit-com characters are being cute and funny with drink in hand.  The billboards, the LCBOs (Ontario's version of a liquor store) on every second corner, the social invitations, the celebrations, the barbeques, the Christmas season, I could go on and on and I think I will:  the lovely meal, the new wine rack, the make-your-own wine for $4.00 a bottle (and that's the good stuff), the after sports get-together, the photos in the recipe books (food porn), the romantic evenings, the after work stress relief, the fancy restaurants, the pubs, the weekends away, the old friends with expectations, the new friends and wanting to make them like you and not seem odd or 'addicted' ... I could go on and on as I said.

How I was able to pull it off for four months is nothing short of a miracle.  I am a miracle worker and I perform my own miracles on a daily basis and so do you.  We are beating the odds, going where few have traveled, thumbing our nose at society and we should be proud.  There are so few of us within the general population that we have to stay in touch.  We are a small group in recovery compared to the masses.  Let`s agree that people who are not in recovery either should and are in denial or truly don`t have a problem and will never understand us.

We can perform our little daily miracles and inch closer to our true selves and thereby find our true calling by soaking up all the love, support and encouragement that is available to us.

So, I cannot `take a break`again if I want this to be an ongoing, lifetime achievement.  And I do.


  1. This is part of the success of AA. Continuous contact with likeminded people.
    I'm glad to hear you are feeling it again.


  2. I love this post. You are awesome. Hope you don't mind but I just mentioned it in a post on Living Sober.. (which by the way you should be registered as a member of and talking to our lovely community!!)

  3. Ditto..great post! Another testament about how much we need to stay together as a tribe. Upcoming holidays are filled with booze and we need to feel part of a community who understands us. You deserve sobriety and happiness just as we all do. Pam

  4. I love this post too, and was sent here by Mrs. D. who, as above, mentioned you on Living Sober. You should definitely join that group: I think your comments would be helpful and appreciated by other members. Besides, we need all the "Canadian Content" we can get among all those lovely Kiwis.

  5. I found your blog from Mrs D. Thanks for the inspiration - what you write here is so true! I'm back to square one... If you have time, will you look at my blog? It's on:
    It's called A Dappled Path. Love Annie x

  6. I'm finding it easier this time, less of a feat of endurance, more of a lifestyle change, not because I was drinking an enormous amount, but because even a small amount makes me less comfortable in my own skin. I know now that although I can drink "normally", i.e. safely, if something bad happens in my life my first thought will be to drown it, anaesthetise it, poison it. I will make myself suffer because even though I feel dreadful at least it'll take my mind off The Thing. I'm looking forward to a dinner party on Saturday and feeling happy and grown up and sober. Last year I realised I was a freak because I filled my glass three times as much as everyone else. I actually think sober might be less weird than trying to pretend I'm not smashed. I may be developing a tea and cookie habit. I guess that's ok.

    1. We sound so much alike. I, too, have this inner craziness that surrounds drinking. Nobody sees it; it's just in my brain. I hardly ever get drunk; always tipsy but for me if I drink, it's DAILY or nothing. Why can't people just accept my choice to abstain? The questions are normal I guess but I feel put on the hot seat when I am asked why I am not drinking. Tea is great. I've dedicated a whole drawer in my new kitchen to herbal, green and black teas. Happy and grown up! That's us!

    2. I do wish we didn't have to encounter booze _everywhere_. I haven't really considered cigarettes since they stopped smoking indoors, I just don't think about it if I don't see it. Everywhere though, pictures of chilled bottles of wine splashing into glasses, dining tables with half full glasses of red, all sophisticated and appealing. There's no pictures of headache tablets or toilets or slumping people on sofas who can't remember what they're supposed to be watching on TV and are too embarrassed to say so, or sweating people awake at 3am wondering whether they brought their purse home with them and whether they'll ever sleep again. Why _do_ we associate it with fun? I dunno. Plain addiction isn't it, even on a low level. Like