I would like to think I am back in that great head space I enjoyed all through the summer. I was not drinking and was not missing it. What happened? A little action as a result of a little craving is what screwed up my momentum.
I can't stress enough the importance of staying close to the sober cyber-world for the longest time. My guess is that I will always have to check in in one way or another as part of my daily routine. The further I stray from the cocoon of like-minded people, the more likely it is that I will inevitably drink.
Whether it's blogging here, soaking up other recovery blogs, visiting my sober support sites or just reading my plethora of books on the subject, a visit to the sober world is needed on a daily basis in order to keep the drinking world at bay.
It's all around us. We are surrounded. It's everywhere. On TV, our favourite sit-com characters are being cute and funny with drink in hand. The billboards, the LCBOs (Ontario's version of a liquor store) on every second corner, the social invitations, the celebrations, the barbeques, the Christmas season, I could go on and on and I think I will: the lovely meal, the new wine rack, the make-your-own wine for $4.00 a bottle (and that's the good stuff), the after sports get-together, the photos in the recipe books (food porn), the romantic evenings, the after work stress relief, the fancy restaurants, the pubs, the weekends away, the old friends with expectations, the new friends and wanting to make them like you and not seem odd or 'addicted' ... I could go on and on as I said.
How I was able to pull it off for four months is nothing short of a miracle. I am a miracle worker and I perform my own miracles on a daily basis and so do you. We are beating the odds, going where few have traveled, thumbing our nose at society and we should be proud. There are so few of us within the general population that we have to stay in touch. We are a small group in recovery compared to the masses. Let`s agree that people who are not in recovery either should and are in denial or truly don`t have a problem and will never understand us.
We can perform our little daily miracles and inch closer to our true selves and thereby find our true calling by soaking up all the love, support and encouragement that is available to us.
So, I cannot `take a break`again if I want this to be an ongoing, lifetime achievement. And I do.