Germination of the Seed

I just got back from my six a.m. meditation date with my friend who conveniently lives right across the street.  We`ve been at this since January 1st and when my bird song alarm chirps at 5:45 a.m. I am surprisingly, delighted to swing my feet out of bed and start the day.

I immediately begin by turning the hot water faucet on in my bathroom and then while the hot water is making it`s way to the faucet I brush my teeth.  After washing my face and getting dressed, I then go to the kitchen and put hubby`s lunch together while checking outside to see if my friend`s porch light is lit signalling her awakening.  I plod over at a few minutes before six and we spend an hour chatting and meditating while sipping herbal tea.

When I arrive home, I am either the only one up or hubby is pattering about getting ready for work.  My whole day is positively splashed with the colorful residue of my wonderful morning session.

All this could not happen if I was drinking.

What`s happening now is that I am feeling that tiny seed that was planted many months back begin to germinate; the seed of authentic living.  I`ve watered and cared for myself recently in a new way and it`s like a wonderful stimulant of composted, natural love has been added to the elixir of my life.

It manifests itself in a feeling of calmness in the throes of family strife, time taken to work on my goals, practicing discipline when it`s needed (office & house work) and a general feeling of well being with the undercurrent that all is as it should be.

What a lovely gift to give myself.

This afternoon we went dress shopping for my husband's fiance and then to a Pub called the Cheshire Cat for lunch.  I was treated to my lunch by my DIL's Dad.  Everyone had a drink and I found it easy to order a soda and cranberry juice although my favourite draft beer was available.  It's just an extension of that feeling of contentment in my own skin that's been I've been happily resting in.  Even when I felt a little left out of the conversation, I was avoid the poor me feeling by just accepting that the seating arrangement was not condusive to me being included without a fair amount of effort by all.  We were 5 people at a rectangle table with no room at either end so I was the one with no one across from me.  I just shrugged it off as time to check my emails on my phone.

Tonight we are hosting the same family and I`ve bought the wine and beer for the evening as hubby was at home making the spaghetti sauce.  No problem staying sober tonight.  I want to hang on to this feeling... forever.