I am an out there person and don't hide much from anyone. My husband jokes that there is no filter between my brain and my mouth. Imagine me drunk? No wonder I quit. I just shared a link on facebook that is about a young woman celebrating her first year sober and in the article she goes on about how much better her life is. I noted in my comments as I shared the link that this might be me in ten months, that I haven't had a drink in two months and that 'Sober is the New Black'.
Yikes!!
That is the first step in putting it out there. Needless to say, my immediate family is aware of my abstinence because of my motor mouth but going public with it is another story. In Public is where we are judged, critiqued, commented on and gossiped about. As Dr. Seuss puts it "Be who you are and say what you feel because those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind".
Worrying about what other people think is a sickness most of us have developed from our upbringing, our schooling and our society in general. We've been brain washed to care about how we are perceived by others. If I could erase that part of my psyche, I would. Perhaps, with a lot of retraining of my mind, I can. It has to start with my acceptance of myself.
Since I've been sober and reading a lot about stilling the mind, resting in the present moment, practicing acceptance of what is and generally living consciously, I've come a long way in this department. I still have a long way to go.
I have a few relatives and friends who have stopped drinking for their own reasons and I wish we could talk about it openly. I am not sure how they would react if I brought it up. It is such a taboo subject. I also have to stop beating the subject to death in my head as that was one of the main reasons for me to quit drinking; to stop thinking about it.
By my peers knowing I've quit drinking, they will know that alcohol was not working for me in one way or another. Does this bother me? To be honest, it does but only a little. I believe that in their heart of hearts, many people are having serious conversations between their egos and their souls about this very same issue.
As a life long goal, I am called to help remove the stigma attached to alcoholism and sobriety and to allow problem drinking to become a subject that is talked about freely without judgment. Like the de-stigmatizing of depression and mental illness, it is not an easy undertaking.
I have a lot of inner work to do but I am on my path ....
Amazing post, thank you. You nailed that feeling of isolation we have, and we just know other people must have, but it's a really hard topic to raise. Sober blogs are really helping to open up the conversation. After 20 months sober I've 'come out' recently to the whole world, on Facebook and on the TV with Mrs D. I was pretty terrified about doing it and what the fallout might be... family, extended family, friends, work, clients, etc. The most amazing thing is how many people really want to talk about it -- about their own drinking, or someone they know. It's like the permission floodgates are open! And so many people say it's good to see normal people making this change -- that it makes them feel like they can do it too. Sober blogging is leading the charge on this revolution! Keep up the great writing. XX
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