Pleasing Myself

Today I made the choice to please myself rather than someone else.  This in itself might not seem remarkable but in my life, it is rare.

This afternoon, my hubby and I were sitting under our lovely dining tent enjoying our before dinner chat when our next door neighbor walked by carefully balancing multiple baskets of plump, ripe raspberries.  She was literally loaded down with the fruit of the raspberry canes that grew along the lovely, riverside path that is owned by and maintained by the local Plant Nursery for the neighborhood`s pleasure... I know, it`s crazy...  As a thank you gesture to me for letting her know about the raspberries she gave us a generous sampling.  We thanked her and planned on having them after dinner with cream and sugar.

That evening I had my 82 year old uncle over to have dinner with us.  He stopped at the local bakery and kindly bought us a blueberry crumble cake.  It looked delicious.  I had eaten a fat, buttery almond croissant that morning from the patisserie in Quebec and really felt I had been over-doing it lately. I was not looking forward to having a dutiful piece after dinner.

Dinner was delicious.  We barbequed chicken wings and pork chops.  I steamed and buttered green and yellow beans our other neighbor had given us that afternoon.  We also had curried rice and lentils and my homemade picked beets. 

After eating, we decided to have a cup of tea with dessert and I went into the trailer to prepare it.  My hubby had insisted on having the raspberries as planned.  I felt I had to eat a piece of the crumble to show appreciation for the gift.  While the water was boiling I did the dishes.  After steeping the tea, I spooned out hubby`s raspberries, added the cream and sugar and put the remaining berries in the fridge.  I cut my uncle`s crumble, plated it and stuck the knife in to cut my portion.

Mid-stab I stopped cold.  I simply acknowledged that I preferred raspberries and decided that is what I would have.  I put the crumble away, hauled out the berries, cream and sugar and created my preferred dessert.  I brought everyone`s treat outside.  No one batted an eyelash,

I thoroughly enjoyed my raspberries and promised my uncle I would eat blueberry crumble cake for breakfast tomorrow. 

I find myself making decisions lately that are based on what I prefer rather than what I think is expected of me.  This is unusual for me and I see it as a step in the right direction.

I am slowly increasing my self-awareness and self-acceptance.  They go hand in hand because we have to really be awake and aware in order to walk the walk of a self-accepting individual.  Many of us don`t even realize we have a choice in most areas of our lives.  We habitually choose what we are expected to choose, go where we won`t cause a stir, do what keeps us hidden.  When we are consciously aware of our being, we are more likely to acknowledge our oneness with all, our worthiness and that we do, indeed matter.

Today I chose to please myself.