Morning Ritual

My husband who, henceforth will be called Gramps, pointed out this evening that I am hard on myself.  We discussed it and I had to agree that I spend many waking hours monitoring my activities looking for failure to comply with what I think I should be doing.

I am very self-critical and have many aspects of my life that I am 'working' on improving.  For example I work from home and I tend to immerse my working and playing desk time together with no definitive pattern whatsoever.  I spend far too much frivolous time online.  I regularly consume fatty foods.  I don't spend nearly enough time working, reading, meditating, preparing healthy meals or exercising.  I neglect to take my supplements and kick-a-boo joy juice often.

All this was to be expected when I was drinking wine by the gallons every night but now that I am sober I am going to kill two birds with one stone.  I will stop the self criticism permanently and, at the same time, for once and for all, sort out my days to include what is necessary for my soul and my ego to call a truce.

The way I plan to achieve that is to establish a Morning Ritual that starts the moment I get up and ends before the day has really begun.  When I sit down to eat breakfast, my ego will have nothing left to say and my soul can enjoy each moment of the remainder of my day living as it was meant to live; at peace.

As I've said in previous posts, I don't want to have any accountability outside of sobriety until I've achieved a milestone or two.  My thirty day mark is coming up and I will very slowly begin my plan.  My hope is that by my birthday in October my Morning Ritual will be well entrenched and I can truly begin to put my ego to rest and to live in the present moment content in the fact that my basic needs are being met. 

The important thing is that I don't rush anything.  I feel that by eventually accomplishing the Morning Ritual routine, I will open doors in my life that include more joy than I've ever known in the past. 

I always said one of the main reasons I wanted to quit drinking was to get the monkey off my back, to stop spending so much time thinking about drinking.  That was a huge reason for me to quit.  My ever-combative ego has made a heroic effort to fill that empty space with self-trash talk and now, because I am stone cold sober, I am onto her. 

One thing at a time... I cannot undo all the harm at once.  The nice thing about a far off goal date like this October is I have the added advantage of moving into the home we are building at around that time or a month or so before.  This home is in a different province with a different language spoken and absolutely everything will be different.  More on that later but it is the perfect environment to incorporate change.  Working up to this date will be gradual but steady.

My life journey has so much amazing potential and my Morning Ritual is my ticket to ride.